Flippin' Hip

Okay, I think I'm ready to blog about this.  I'm having hip surgery next month...not a hip replacement because the doctor is afraid that with lupus, it will not be well-received in my body.  So he is going to try to reconstruct the massively torn (almost non-existent) labrum.  I don't know what he is going to do about the frayed/split socket (due to the torn labrum).  When I went for my results, I was really okay and ready to accept having a hip surgery.  I really didn't think it would be a big deal based on a past discussion with the doc.  Looking back at the first appointment, I guess it wasn't really discussed "in depth" at that time because we didn't know exactly what would need to be done before the MRI Arthrogram.

Well, it was discussed in depth at this appointment...wayyyyy too in depth.  Details I wish weren't discussed.  Details I would have done fine not knowing.  Apparently, he has to pop my pelvic bone all the way to the side and a huge nerve will be sticking out and then they stick a bar between your legs to hold you in that position.  I needed to know that?  What happened to "we're going to make an incision here and fix it for you?"  I could have lived with that.  Well, since Thursday, I have lost 6 lbs.   I have been a nervous wreck thinking about it thanks to the graphic picture the doctor has drawn in my head.  (Can I help it I'm a visual person?) 

I'm worried about everything considering I will be pretty immobile.  No driving, no stairs, no nothing.  I get several pieces of medical equipment delivered to my house, braces for my hips and legs and some other machine.  I'm FREAKING OUT!  I have a zillion questions.  It's not easy being here with the kid by myself.  Who is going to drive her to and from school?  Who's going to pack her lunches?  Cook dinner?  Do the laundry?  How am I going to get to physical therapy?  Who's going to mow the lawn?  How am I going to get to the bathroom?  Shower?  Who's going to buy the groceries?  I feel like I might just go crazy this time.  When I had the hysterectomy I could pretty well fare on my own.  I was able to move and get around, do things (even though I probably shouldn't have) and stuff, but what am I going to do with no hip???

Where in the hell am I going to find the help I need??????????????????