I figure if I blog about it maybe I'll feel a little bit better. Who knows? Guess we'll see. So I joined this church. I felt comfortable at this church. I attempted to coach basketball this past season. I attempted to actually attend church. I totally admit my attendance hasn't been stellar, considering surgery, cancer, pneumonia and now a broken foot....but I've gone and have made an attempt to go when I was feeling ok. I've even gone somedays when I felt like total crap but thought that going would make me feel better. I even attended sans kid when she was at her dad's. Whatever, turns out I'm just another recluse sitting in the last pew of a church, right?
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I signed my attendance card saying that I would like to serve the church. Well, to date I haven't heard anything. I mean, it could have been as simple as, can you open the door on one Sunday, right? Nothing. Not a phone call, not an email, nothing. Needless to say I feel like I'm not exactly wanted.
Second thing, the youth group will be going on a mission trip this summer and was volunteering for jobs around your house for $10/hour. I broke my foot, so I emailed the youth group director asking if someone could mow my lawn. Do you think I heard back? No. A simple, "you know I couldn't find someone who was willing to do it." would have been fine. Fine, I can accept a "no," but to be outright ignored I think was rude. It's not like I was asking for a FREE service. Come on. (Just watch me mow my lawn this weekend with the cast on - should be interesting...or quite painful to say the least.)
So do I feel rejected by "my" church? Yes, I do. I feel like it's highschool all over again. You either "fit in" or you just exist. Well, I don't want to just "exist." That's what I've done in this freaking state for the past 10 years. I actually want to be a part of something finally...but I obviously haven't found it at the church I thought I could attend and be a part of.
I don't know what to do. To be honest, it's taken quite a few churches and quite some time to find some place I felt comfortable going to, and I'm not sure I'm up to go on another search. It's ridiculous if you ask me. But quite frankly, nobody has asked. Whatever.
-----
Today I am grateful that I was still able to work from home, that my daughter, seeing Miley Cyrus's attitude on DWTS has decided to "get over her", and for our awesome waitress at Chili's....making not feeling so hot that much easier to deal with for dinner. : )
Life is Valuable and Precious
14 years ago
1 comments:
I totally understand where you are coming from-totally. It took me a long time after coming home from college and a great church to find a new church-and even the one I am at I am not totally happy with, but it meets most of my church needs. I didnt find my church really until Kevin and I were engaged and looking for a church to have my ceremony in. You have every right to be angry with your church about the no reply to the responce card and the youth mission help. But also, most likely your pastor doesnt have much involvement in these things-just to oversee them. I would contact your pastor by email or something, or set up an appointment at a coffee shop and talk it out with him. But you also have the right to just walk away if that is what you want to do.
On a different note-I feel ya on the highschool clique feeling-unfortunatly every church has that, and since hubby and I are shyer than most we are even more in the dark so to speak. We have meet and become friends with a few people-but it has taken us two or three years to get to this point. I will keep you in my prayers... Hope your foot heals up quickly!! We need to meet up! I wanna see your house sometime this summer!!! Let me know if you need anything!
Post a Comment