I've Got a Feelin'

I've been feeling an itch again to start photographing again.  I don't know what to do about it.  I sold my good, good camera when I got cancer.  I still have my semi-good one, yet I'm hesitant to take it out of the box again.  I gotta figure this one out.

Anyway, I feel like I haven't posted a picture here in a while.  We've been getting postcards, just not as frequently.  The kid got one from Holland and China, I got one from Australia, Hawaii and Spain.  The one from Spain is beautiful.  How could someone NOT want to live there?  If only I could pack my bags now...


My black thumb seems to be turning green here at the new house.  All of my house plants are doing awesome.  I really should attribute it to the huge bay window in my kitchen - and the fact that because of the location I now remember to water them frequently.  Tonight I had to replant them because they have grown so much in one month.  My hibiscus has even bloomed!  What a nice surprise to walk into the kitchen in the morning and see the beautiful flowers! 
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Today I am grateful that it is Friday and I could work from home and meet a friend for lunch, that my BFF is coming over to mow the grass for me (I'm so spoiled!), and that my patio table didn't break when the wind took it for a ride last night.

The Long Way Traveled.

Yesterday I took a detour (thanks to construction season) home and passed by a park I used to take the kid to when she was between 15 months-two years old.  It struck me as kind of sad, maybe because she's grown so much and so quickly, but kind of a strange feeling too.  I've come a long way in 7 years.

We started in a one bedroom ghetto (cough, cough) apartment when I left.  I escaped an abusive relationship, got her out of it, moved into a nasty little one bedroom place because that's all I could afford and struggled from there...but that playground is where we spent so much of our time.

Thinking back, I've done a lot in seven years:

1. Escaped an abusive relationship...taken ownership for our survival and well-being.
2. Moved out of the ghetto 1 bedroom apt., to a decent apt. and finally into a communtiy, with a house, a neighborhood and kids.
3. Found a church I enjoy and will hopefully become an active member of.
4. Provided a stable, healthy home and every opportunity I could afford through park district and spending time together with/for my daughter.
5. Been diagnosed with lupus and then cancer.  Been pissed off but survived. 
6. Been promoted at work 6 times.  Went from struggling to pay the bills to being able to take a nice vacation every other year and building my savings!!!
7. Renewed my relationship with my father and learned (somewhat) how to let my mother's criticism go in one ear and out the other - well, on most days...okay 50% of the time if we're being honest.  At least I've accepted that I will never be good enough for her and I can live with that.

Seven challenges in seven years.  I'm ready for year 8 to start and hopefully it will begin 7 years of relative calm.  I can dream, right?  At least I'm starting to feel somewhat organized in my being, or maybe it's just that I'm maturing? 

Seven things I"ve learned:

1. I am not the fault of my mother's unhappiness.  I'm a grown adult on my own, she has her own issues and takes them out on me because I let her.  She's not going to treat me well until she is happy with herself.
2. I can be and am a loving single parent.  A single parent can raise a well-adjusted happy child.  I don't believe that children necessarily need a two parent home.  Two parent homes can be less secure, loving and established than one good single parent home.
3. I'm willing to be more open about church.
4. I'm incredibly stubborn and hell-bent to do 99% of things on my own and without support.  And people get pissed off at me when I do.  I need to learn to let people in to help me when they are offering.
5. Even though I feel like I've "dumbed down" since coming to the corporate world, I have to look back at my career and realize that I'm still "smart" and I do a good job - why else would I have received promotions?
6. Even though I'm not where I "thought" I would be or where I wanted to be, I have to look back and realized I've come a long way, did it on my own and be proud of that.
7. I have the ability and strength to look years of anger, disappointment and misunderstanding in the eye, be the courageous one and ring somebody's doorbell and ask for forgiveness.

Well, enough of that...I must be feeling a little nutty today to write all that?  I'm going to blame all the bleach I've been enhaling this morning from disinfecting the bathroom after the plumber was here (long story!!!)Whatever.
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Today I am grateful that I got to work from home an extra day this week, that I have a few hours to myself tonight to get some errands done, and for my daughter.

Grateful

Today I am grateful that it was quiet at work, for some excellent lunch company, and dessert.

What Do You Do On the Toilet???

We're in a restaurant and the kid has to go to the bathroom, I let her go because I can see the bathroom from our booth, we were sitting right there. So she's in there a while and I go check on her. "Are you okay?" Her response..."Yeah mom, I'm done, but I have a little problem." I'm thinking she's out of toilet paper." Me, "What's wrong?" Her, "Well, I can't get up because I tied my shoelaces together cuz I got bored on the toilet and now I can't get them undone."

What do you do when you're on the toilet???

Weird Neighborly Thing?

Today after work was interesting...I come home and neighbor's carbon monoxide detectors are going off.  So another neighbor comes over and we start trying to open doors, call them but no one has any number other than their home phone, peek in the windows...I mean, what if they are dead?  But then also we noticed 2 of their 5 cars gone as well.  What ended up happening was the screen popped open and the neighbor guy crawled in the front window to make sure no one was home.  He reset the alarm and everything was well again. 

The kid and I then took a bike ride and come back and the alarms are going off again.  Up pulls the fire department with axes.  Oh man, and they just finished remodeling their house and putting beautiful front doors on.  So I go running out in my pajamas to tell them no one is home and explain that we crawled through the window already. 

What happens next?

...In through the windows then the firemen crawls and out come all the neighbors from their respective homes for an exciting suburban adventure. 

(I mean what could possibly be more exciting that a fireman crawling through a window? (Do you see the sarcasm dripping from that last question?)  Although, the eye candy was nice!  Just have to remember not to be in my pajamas from now on before sundown!  :p)
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Today I am grateful that the neighbors weren't home and carbon monoxide poisoned, that I got my 6-month results that said I'm cancer free, and that I remembered to renew my library books!

Grateful

Today I am grateful that I could bag off, that my BFF came to cheer me up and that my daughter was extra snuggly.

Hanging By My Toenails

So it's been 6 days since I've had my 6-month cancer check-up, and waiting for the test results is torture.  I feel like I'm hanging upside down by my toenails, just waiting for them to be pulled out.  My brain says that I'm probably in the clear, but me, being my anal self cannot relax until I have those results in writing.  I want to know, damn it, and it's eating away at me.  I haven't slept at all this week - having crazy messed up dreams and then just not being able to sleep in general with all this worry in my head.  I got things to do, can't we just resolve this now?  Couldn't she have put a rush on the results?  How do you even begin to "move on" when you don't even know??? 

Grateful

Today I am grateful that I seem to be fitting into slightly smaller clothing, for another good find at Goodwill, and the rain.

Gasp...I Now Own A....

I spent the past two days shopping for a dress.  Yes, I said a dress.  Quite a miracle in itself considering I don't own even one (not even a skirt).  Of course, shopping for a dress is quite discouraging to me...the voice inside my head either moos or tells me I look like I'm wearing a curtain or tells me it looks like I could rest a tray of margaritas on my chest.  Gawd, there is some REALLY UGLY stuff out there and when the hell did my boobs get so big????!!!!????

Needless to say, I went to Kohl's, Nordstrom Rack, Lands End, Marshalls, Target and even Walmart (I know, the sin, right?)  I found one this morning at Marshalls.  It was ok.  I mean it looks nice on, but I wasn't too thrilled about the fabric up by the boobs...like they couldn't have picked something that didn't look like black canvas?  Anyway, I bought it.  But when I came home I felt like going to Goodwill...and usually when I have that feeling, it means I am going to find something...so off I trucked to Goodwill and I found the PERFECT DRESS FOR $4.99.  It still had the tags on it from the real store!!!!!  I love it.  I took a pic of it to post (the pink splotch is the price tag), but it doesn't do any justice for it.  It's just a simple wrap around dress. 

I saw it on the rack and was like "no way, it's not going to fit." because it was a full size smaller than what I wear.   I just kept going back over it and over it and finally I thought, "what the hell?  like trying on dresses can get anymore depressing today?"  I went and tried it on.  IT FIT!!!!  And I'm not talking, suck it in here, here & there fit, it really fit, perfectly!  I'm in shock, but sooo happy!  Now back to Marshall's I'll go, probably tomorrow, to return the other one.  Phew!

I got some cute shoes too to go with the dress, that is after going through rows and rows of  "fuck me" heels.  I just am not feeling it, nor could I probably walk 5 feet in heels that high!  Anyway, it worked out perfectly because the shoes I found look really nice with the dress and I'll still be able to wear them to work.  Nothing worse than buying a pair of shoes that you're only going to wear once!
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I decided to splurge on the Josh Turner CD today.  I love his music!  So I went to Walmart and picked up the CD...okay, I totally confess I didn't have a clue as to what he looked like, but OMG!!!!  That man is GORGEOUS!!!!!  I'm totally in lust...yes, I know, keep dreaming!  I'm just saying, he wouldn't have to ask me twice!  Delicious!  Check him out.
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Today I am grateful for Goodwill, that it rained and I didn't have to cut the grass :p, and that I found a necklace that my dad had gotten me that I thought I lost (I swear, I have no idea how it popped up in my jewelry box again!!!).

Quieting Down

It's been a relatively quiet week here, other than work - which has been absolutely insane!!!  I'm happy about a couple of things:  I got rid of the Facebook baggage that has been plaguing me and feel really good about it, and I spoke with my mother on the phone this week and she was completely sober, for once.  Simple things, but both a relief to have dealt with.
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Today I am grateful for the weekend (please God, give me the ability to sleep in!!!!), my daughter, and working from home today.

What Ifs and Why?

Anyone ever play the what if game?  What if, what if, what if?  And why the hell did I just pass a third night in a row dreaming that I'm pregnant and coming up with baby names??????
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Today I am grateful for my daughter, that the lady at Kohl's gave me 15% off last night even though I didn't have a coupon, and that my pants are a bit looser today.  :p

Facebook Baggage

Got rid of some Facebook baggage and it feels so good!!!!
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Today I am grateful that it's Hump Day, that we made it out of the house on time this morning, and for a great breakfast.

Hit It Big

Do you ever learn just one little piece of valuable information and feel like you won the lottery?  That's me.
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Today I am grateful my follow-up appt. is over and done with, that my friend stayed to chat last night, and that there is one less day until the weekend comes.

Wishing for a Miracle, Probably Needing Some Prayers

Wishing for a miracle, probably needing some prayers, a bunch of finger crossing and some good old fashion luck.  Tonight I have the pleasure of returning to the doctor for the 6 month cancer check.  In my head, I'm confident of my surgeon and the shots that I have received...but it's still nerve wracking to have to go, wait for the results, deal with it all over again, etc., but I suppose I can't go on with life with my hands over my ears singing "lalalala, I can't hear you."  The voice in my head keeps saying, "Suck it up girl, it's gonna be ok...she got it all."  The nerves are a different story, I'm a worrier until I have concrete proof that something is true to be.
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Anyway, the weekend was good.  Yesterday was a perfect 10.  Started the morning with church.  I enjoyed it, but after having not gone for quite a few weeks I was surprised at the changes.  Just little things, like the same guys weren't singing or playing the guitars.  I like consistency in certain things...church being one of them, as it's taken me a heck of a long time to go back to a church and a long time to find a church I enjoy.  I really like this one.  The message on Sunday was good (I know T-imagine that coming out of my mouth w/the past issues I've had?!?)  and I even signed my communication card that I'd like to serve.  We'll see what that means, I'm kind of hoping to do some wallflowery type stuff since I'm really not good at approaching people out of the blue to talk.  We'll see, it would be nice to be involved and not just duck out after service, but again, I'm not the type to take the first step toward approaching someone..but maybe doing something will help with that - eventually.

After church we stopped at a few stores and then came home and rode our bikes and went to three different playgrounds.  It's so awesome that we have all of this within walking/riding distance!  I surprised the kid by asking if she'd like to stop for an ice cream.  Well, the surprise was on me!  Turns out the ice cream was free that day at the place we stopped at.  A sweet little bonus!  The kid's little brain instantly lit up then, "Mom!  We could come here everyday for dessert since the ice cream is free!"  Ha, I don't think so!  We sat outside and she ate her ice cream, the day was a bit chilly, but it was beautiful with the blue sky and sunshine!

We planted an herb garden under the bay window.  So now I have hopes of at least one of the two growing.  I have a little kit in the kitchen that has started to sprout...we'll see about the one outside.  I had to bang on the window this morning after I caught all the little birds down there.  Darn things!  I hope it grows because the kid helped me plant it and took a lot of pride in doing so.  We had a great time planting and watering and wearing our matching sunhats (I know, I'm totally cheesy...but brainwash them that you're cool when they're young, right?  I have to admit, it totally makes me feel good that she wants to be like me...I'm not such a dork just yet.)
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Today I am grateful that my friend is coming to watch the kid so I can go to the doctor alone, that the weekend was pretty much perfect, and that I've found enough peace to return to the office today after a challenging last week.

Grateful

Today I am grateful for my daughter, that today seemed seemlessly carefree, and that I got the basement organized.
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Yesterday I was grateful for my BFF who mowed my lawn, the sunshine, and my bed.

Best Ever

Tonight the kid is having her first sleepover (not ever) in the new house.  It's the first time I haven't had to yell, "Don't run" or "Stop jumping, the neighbors downstairs can hear you!"  Apparently, I am now "the coolest mom ever"  and have the "best sleepovers ever invented."
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Today I am grateful that I had a really super easy work week, that it's the weekend, and that we have a big back yard to play in!

Grateful

Today I am grateful for my massage, that I was in training instead of at the office and for the nice weather.

Picturing Everyone Naked

You know how they tell you to combat stage fright by imagining everyone in the audience was naked?  What if you're sitting in a training room and picture your trainer that way?  Is that so wrong?  God, he was hot!!!!

Attention Shoppers...

Yesterday was an excellent day.  I took off because, well, let's just say without getting into any details, I needed a "Mental Health" day from work.  I had the BEST day!  It was beautiful out for one thing.  The kid and I slept in a little later and then I took her to school.  I then went to the doctor for another blood draw (definitely not the highlight of the day), got my oil changed and then decided to hit up Goodwill.  I don't know, call it inspiration.  It was a miracle, I spent over an hour in that store and actually enjoyed myself.  I found 3 pair of pants for work and a pair of jeans, all for under $20!  I usually NEVER spend more than 15 minutes in there and that's just to look at books with the kid.  She loves getting her books there, and quite frankly I do too because $0.59 vs. a $6.99 book order book - hmmm, you do the math!?!  I guess because it was a Tuesday and early-mid morning, it was not crowded.  I had such a good time and was so happy that I got new (used) pants AND a SIZE SMALLER!!!!!  Woo hoo!  Bonus, right? 

After Goodwill I hit up Dicks - only because I received a gift card from one of the kids I coached.  I have never gone in that store and probably would never have if I hadn't had that card.  I looked around and that store is outrageously expensive, especially after you come from the Goodwill mindset.  Ha ha!  But I did find a volleyball set for $14.97 on clearance and it was wayyyy better than the junk I got at Walmart.  So I bought it and took the other set back to Walmart.  The whole set now cost me $1.02 because of sales tax.  That was a great feeling!

Next I hit up this restaurant that an old boss was telling me about.  It was this hole in the wall Mexican joint.  You order at the counter and carry your own food to a simple table.  OMG!!! They've made an addict out of me in one day.  I'm taking the kid there for dinner tonight!  I had the most delicious tacos I have had in a really long time - and cheap!  I got two tacos, a tostada and drink for $6.00.  It's so worth the drive, even though it is a little farther now that we've moved.  Maybe I'm simple, but I seem to find I enjoy the more ethnic type hole in the wall places more than a fancy restaurant? 

Then I went to the movies.  I saw Date Night.  It was really funny and both Tina Fey and Steve Carrell did an awesome job. 

After the movie I stopped at the grocery store and then picked up the kid.  We grilled out, played volleyball, badmitton and then took a bike ride and also went to the playground.  Finally curled up together on the couch and watched DWTS.  It was the most excellent day!!!

Today I'm preparing for three days of training at work...ugh!  Well, at least I get to wear jeans.  I guess if that's the best thing I can say, at least it's something!
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Today I am grateful for my daughter, for the beautiful weather and that tomorrow I am going for a massage!!!

Grateful

Today I am grateful that I took the day off, discovered a wonderful Mexican restaurant, and saw a movie at the theater.

Bite Me.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I cannot accept,
And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they ticked me off.
And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the butt that I have to kiss tomorrow.
Help me to always give 100% at work...
12% on Monday,
23% on Tuesday,
40% on Wednesday,
20% on Thursday,
and 5% on Friday.
And help me to remember...
When I'm having a really bad day,
And it seems that people are trying to tick me off, That it takes 42 muscles to frown And only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me.

TODAY SUCKED...AMEN.
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Today I am grateful that it was nice enough to grill out for dinner, for this house, and for duct tape.

Sunday Already?

This morning I woke up feeling sick.  Wheezing in my chest again and coughing up a lung, clutching my two enhalers like an addict..  Thought I was just going to sit inside and be miserable all day.  Then my neighbors called and brought over the lawn mower.  I had to mow the lawn (hint, hint).  They taught me how to use it.  I mowed it.  It was no picnic.
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Today I am grateful that I have two massage certificates waiting for me to use, for the delicious Mahi & veggies I grilled for dinner, and that I got the garage organized and cleaned.

I Declare War!!!

Sooooo... I hung my birdfeeder the other day.  And overnight it was emptied by the monkey hanging squirrel.  I refilled it this morning and within a half hour my friend was back.  I was kind of irritated because he eats it all and I'm not buying pound after pound of birdfeed all summer because he's a pig.  Anyway, I quick googled how to get the squirrel away and everything said to mix cayenne pepper with the bird seed because squirrels hate it and it doesn't bother the birds.  So I did, and I put cayenne pepper on the birdfeeder and around the tree.  I sat back in my kitchen waiting...

Out comes the squirrel again.  He creeps over to the birdfeeder and dips down and quickly bounces back up and washes his face and paws.  Tries again.  Does the same thing and this time runs away.  So I'm sitting there feeling real smug and laughing hysterically.  Five minutes later he's back.  This time I see him kind of on top of the feeder and 30 seconds later I hear this crash.  The bastard chewed the cord it was hanging from in half.  Down came the feeder, cracking open and spilling the entire container of seed.  Next thing that happens, the little bastard calls over his friends and I have 8 squirrels pigging out in my yard!!!!

Well, it's war my little friend!!!  I put the feeder back together and was trying to figure out where to get cord like that, but then I realized I have some thick picture hanging wire and I wired that through the birdfeeder and then hung it from a garden pole.  I'd like to see his gums if he tries to chew through that.   I also put cayenne pepper on the pole, the feeder, in the feed and around the dirt.  I swear to God, if I see that sucker again I'm getting a slingshot!!!

Besides the squirrel drama I had lunch with an old boss today and then went to the apartment to paint the walls over and clean it.  I was finally vacuuming and glad to be able to go in a few and the vacuum craps out on me...so I had to come home and shower (cuz I was covered in paint) and then go back out to Target to get a new vacuum.  GRRRR.  By that time I was too tired to go back, assemble the vacuum and then actually vacuum.  Tomorrow I guess it is.  I'll be glad when I don't have to go back there again!!!

Of course I was too tired to go back and vacuum, but yet I came home, grilled, cleaned the weeds out of the patio cracks and put together my fire pit.  Hmmm, priorities.  It's hard to be motivated to go back to the apartment when I have my little house.


Maybe I'll have other priorities when I have to mow the lawn.  If you think the front is long, check out the back (with the kitchen reflecting in it).  I'm totally dreading this whole mowing thing - I'm afraid I'm going to chop off my toes or something.  I've never mowed with a hand mower in my whole life.  I don't even know how to use one!!!

Got a postcard today from Paris, France.  Woo hoo!  Oh, the little things that amuse me.
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Today I am grateful that the weather was nice, I got to have a delicious dinner of grilled shrimp and asparagus, and for my new vacuum - I rather like it!

My Kid

I have naked barbies hanging on the shower door, hoola hoops thrown under my car's rear-tires.  Little polka-dotted underwear lying on the bathroom floor. stuffed animals napping on the sofa corners, jackets tossed in the corners, melted crayons on the towel covering the backseat of the car, wet hair scrunchies resting on the shower tiles, bike helmets tossed on the garage floor, pajamas jammed in dresser drawers.  I step on Monopoly houses that were forgotten, trip over tennis shoes that are discarded wherever, and sometimes feel like I'm talking to a wall.

I get little hands wrapped around my fingers, sloppy sticky kisses randomly planted on me, bear hugs and warm snuggles.  I pinch cheeks, squeeze little buns and smother a little face with kisses.  I hear, "you're the best mom in the whole world" and "I love you mom" 10 times a day.  I shake like jello with laughter at bat faces made and opera sung answers.  I get to watch the excitement on a little face when she gets mail.  I get to see childhood innocence through the likes of Santa and the Easter Bunny.  I get to snuggle in bed and read stories, kiss scraped knees and share a gigantic bowl of buttery popcorn while watching a movie cuddled up under blankets.

Would I trade it for Sex In the City type girlfriends and happy hour martinis?  Not a chance in the world!!!!
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Today I am grateful for my daughter, that it is a sunny Friday and that I have a job.

Fair Weather Friends

Blog-n-bitch.  First off, I am a sucker with no back bone.  I totally let myself be used because I'm too chicken to say no.  I HATE arguing, HATE it!  Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that I think I know one of the biggest hypocrites alive right now...and she is a pastor's wife.  Ha!  Talk about being a "good Christian."  Whatever.  Okay, so I'm irritated beyond belief and I'm sitting here with chocolate and a BIG ass glass of wine and I am going to bitch...so sue me. 

I just received an email from this woman saying she'd love to stop by and see the house and let me know when she can.  Um, EXCUSE ME?  Where were you the past 6 months when I needed a ride to surgery?  When I needed some help with the kid after surgery?  When I could have used a ride to grocery store or at least some help carrying grocery bags upstairs?  When I could have appreciated so much as a phone call to know I wasn't alone or an email to see if I'm okay?  To offer any kind of help?  Even if it would be a 1/2 hour of company while I was stuck on the couch? And you want me to invite you over when I haven't been invited to any one of your parties since I stopped attending your church?   When you haven't cared for the past 6 months?  I already know you are a gossip, and I'm not up for that.

Am I pissed?  Am I bitter?  Hell yes.  I don't care.  Who are you to butt in to my life now to satisfy your own curiosity and nosiness when I've been nothing to you for 6 months?  True friends don't behave that way.

Does that make me a "bad Christian?"  Maybe, but I'm not apologizing for reality.  You are either a friend or you are not.  You are not going to step in to my life when it is convenient for you and when you need to satisfy your own curiosity.  I'm not up for it anymore.  I've had enough game playing already, and I'm done.  Go pretend to be a good person on Sundays while you gossip all during the week, go pretend to be a good person on Sundays when you really don't fulfill the need of the needy.  Whatever, just leave me alone!  Stay out of my life, don't pretend any more.  I don't have the patience.  If there is one thing I've learned from having cancer, I've learned who really cares, who really truly my friends are and who I can count on to help and who I can count on to talk to....and for those select few, I am truly grateful and I will never know how to repay them, but I love them to death!!!

Enough of that...the furniture repair man from the move came today.  He fixed the damage to the wood furniture and also to the couch.  I'm happy with the wood repairs, not so pleased with the couch, but I don't think I have much of an option in regard to the couch.  I have to say though, that if you didn't know the couch was damaged, you probably would not even notice the repair, but I do...I'm anal like that.

Tonight the kid was at her father's for dinner, so I had the opportunity to meet up with a friend of mine for dinner.  We went out to a fantastic Thai restaurant.  I love Thai food, it simply has to be my favorite!  It was delicious, as always.  We had a great time catching up, talking...it was nice to be with a girl friend as an adult and relax.  This friend and I never get together enough.  She lives in the city and I live in the suburbs.  She's single and I have a kid.  It's tough to get together when we have two completely different lifestyles but when we get the opportunity we have a great time.  I am grateful that we had our time tonight to have a relaxing, delicious meal and to chit chat about everything and anything. 

Today we received lots of mail.  I got a card from my Grandma and Aunt for Easter.  That was nice.  I called my Grandma to thank her for the card/check and new coat.  She is a loopy 90 years old, but she still cracks me up.  Then I had to call my dad to tease him about what Grandma says about him.  He always gets so embarrased, but I know he loves it anyway.  I also received a postcard from Texas today.  It was cool because it had a Texas Chili recipe on it, and the kid's favorite thing I make is Chili, so I will have to try this recipe.  The kid also got a card from my aunt and then two postcards: one from Thailand and one from the Netherlands.  She was ecstatic to get so much mail.  I love seeing her excitement when she gets mail!  It is really a wonderful moment!  The one from Thailand had only one sentence on it.  The kid wanted to know why she didn't write so much and I had to explain to her that maybe she didn't know too much English.  That seemed to satisfy her.  She really liked the front of the postcard, it was of a temple in Thailand. 
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Today I am grateful for my daughter, that I'm working from home and the house is so quiet, and that it didn't snow.

Postcrossing

I received a postcard from Germany today.  It was of elephants and I love it because I LOVE elephants.  I don't know why, but I do and I always have. 

I love postcrossing.  I'm glad I came across it.  Most of all, I love that I got the kid involved in it. 

Of all things, I'm impressed with some of the people that the kid has sent postcards to.  She received one back from a man in Oklahoma.  The postcard was of horses and it totally made her day.  She also has one coming from the UK.  She had sent a girl a postcard of Buckingham Fountain in Chicago and the girl is going to send her one back of Buckingham Palace.  I think it is really sweet that people are sending her back postcards on a complete volunteer basis.  It's nice that there are people willing to send her a postcard back without a code because she is a curious kid.  Getting the postcards just makes her day and I love seeing the joy on her face.  Getting the postcards also makes my day knowing there are people out there willing to make her happy and satisfy her curiousity about the world.  It's amazing how something so simple can make her feel so good, make me feel so good.  I guess sometimes it truly is the simple things in life...

Grateful

Today I am grateful that we made it out of the house without too much arguing this morning (two very crabby people who had a week of sleeping in later), for my two friends who helped me more than they know and have been there for me a lot in the past couple of months, and for the volleyball set I set up in the backyard.

Which basket?

I know I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning...I'm an emotional basketcase again.  But I figured I was in trouble when my first thought upon waking is, "Oh boy it's really gonna suck to have to get up tomorrow morning for work."  Ugh!

Anyway, I think today I hit my limit with everything.  I am thoroughly exhausted from the past 5 days...packing, moving, unpacking, excitement, new things, new places, Easter.  It all came crashing down on my body this morning and I don't want to move a bone, muscle, not even blink anymore.  I'm beat and I feel like I'm getting sick all over again. 

Well, I was supposed to go get a massage today with one of the gift certificates I had gotten for my birthday last year.  I called to schedule it and the place had no massage therapists in today....um, the name of the place has the word "massage" in it!!!!  Needless to say, I was pretty pissed.  So the certificates (I have 2) will sit there for another couple of months.  When am I going to go when I have the kid all the time?  (Or when I have off of work?)  I can't bring her along, leave her out in the waiting room for an hour and be expected to relax.  And like that's really fair anyway?  Some of the simpliest things sometimes seem impossible, (okay, well here I go being a drama queen again).

So since there was no massage today I decided to go see a movie.  It was a toss up between Why Did I Get Married Too? and Last Song.  I chose Last Song because I heard the broadcasters talking on the radio the other day.  Holy drama!  I should use what little common sense I have when I'm feeling a bit emotional and really learn to choose the comedy.  It was so depressing.  Not to mention that the dad has cancer in the movie - a bit of a slight bite to my nerves and my upcoming 6 month tests & final (hopefully) shot.  Perhaps I should do a bit more research on the movies I choose before going.  Had I have known the cancer bit, I would have passed.

On my way out to the movie I checked out the backyard.  I've come to find out I have my own forest preserve back there...a gazillion squirrels, birds, bird nests and two ducks.  Yesterday I couldn't figure out why the birds hadn't touched the bird feeder I hung...but then I caught this little bastard in the picture and figured it out.  Apparently the squirrel is half monkey as well.



No postcards for me today.  The kid got one from Japan.  She also received one back from the guy she sent one to in Oklahoma.  She had asked him if there were a lot of horses down there because she wants to be a cowgirl (I know, right?)...so he sent her back a postcard of horses.  That was really sweet, I thought. 

I can't believe I have to go back to work tomorrow.  I am dreading it.  If only I were independently wealthy....a girl can dream.
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Today I am grateful that my daughter has adjusted well to the move, that the kid finally received some postcards, and for having today off.

Finally, It Has Happened to Me...

And I'm just so excited that I can't hide it....

I think, yes, I think, I'm pretty much unpacked.  A few things left to do, a lot in the basement that is going to rot until I find the motivation to go through it, but for right now I'm happy.  I have what I need, I'm comfortable and I'm loving the house.  And guess what?  I just dropped a thick book on the floor not too long ago that echoed through the floor and I DON'T CARE!!!!  No neighbors below me to care about and none to be annoyed with above me.  Life is good!

The move was a move from hell.  I hired the moving company that moved me 3 years ago.  They were fantastic three years ago.  Needless to say, they sent three totally incompetent people out this time.  The one guy sat in the van the whole time and smoked, never moved a thing, the second guy was ok but totally immature for being the same age as me.  He liked to run at the mouth like he was 12 and answer every text he received.  The third guy was a hard worker, but not very strong.  Everything he picked up he commented how heavy it was...um, hello?  They put a tear in my couch, I'm so not happy with them.  They are sending out a repair man this week, it had better be fixed.  So much for my relatively new couch (6 months old).  I was so upset on Friday with them. 

Anyway, the one hard worker was Mexican and I was so irritated with the guy that just sat in the van that I began speaking to the Mexican guy in Spanish.  Needless to say, he was super impressed.  He was shocked that I spoke Spanish and asked me what part of Mexico I came from.  Ha, ha!  It's good to know that after nearly 7 years of using it on a limited basis I still have it.  I made an instant friend in him when I bust out the Spanish and he was very kind.  I still get a total kick out of surprising people with speaking Spanish.  What can I say, I'm easily amused.

So I spent Friday afternoon/night, Saturday, and Sunday unpacking (Happy Easter, I know) all the while wheezing still with pneumonia - what could be more fun than that?  I have to say though, I am so grateful (eternally grateful) to my friend and her husband who came over to move the heavy stuff down to the basement and hang my pictures for me.  They have been a godsend and supportive and wonderful.  I love them to death!!!  I really truly am blessed to have them in my life.  I feel like I will never be able to repay them with enough gratitude.  They have made my lifting restriction somewhat bearable, helped me feel more secure in this new place and just made me feel like someone really cares.  They really are very special people.  I'm very fortunate to have them in my life.

Today I felt like I've accomplished something.  I gave up on the inside and went outside and pulled out dead stuff from the flower beds.  I hung the bird feeder and my wind chime.  I have a huge bay window in the kitchen and thought it would be super cool to be able to have a nice cup of tea in the morning with the wind chime blowing.  Ahhhh, how my imagination likes to fool me...there was no wind at all today!!!

The kid went over to the neighbors on Saturday all on her own and with me holding my breath with reservation.  I know I'm probably over paranoid about letting her go places on her own, but I let her branch out and ring the neighbor's bell and introduce herself.  This was totally her idea.  She wanted to try on her own, so she went and introduced herself to the kids next door and actually asked if they wanted to be her friend.  I was cringing because I knew the kid was in 4th grade and what 4th grader would want to hang around a 1st grader?  But it worked out.  She had a birthday party to attend that same afternoon and while she was out they had actually rang the bell to see if she could play!  That night we ended up with 5 kids in the yard - two 4th graders, a 5th grader, a 1st grader and a 3rd grader.  She had a blast!!!  I was so excited and happy for her.  She was so happy to have kids to play with.  For 7 years we've lived in an apt. complex with no kids.  How cool is it that she has kids up and down the block to run around with?

Two of the mom's came and introduced themselves on Saturday.  That was a relief for me because I am so anti-social or socially awkward.  I just never know how to strike up a conversation with a stranger.  Anyway, I was relieved to see that they were just as plain as me, no make-up on, sweats, etc.  Totally the opposite of the mom's she goes to school with now.  I'm simple, I'm plain and I just don't care about dressing up and slapping make-up on.  It felt good to me that they were just chilling the same on a Saturday afternoon...after all, we are talking about someone who will go grocery shopping in sweats and no make-up.

So today I still had off of work.  It was a good day.  I went running around after I dropped the kid off at school.  While shopping, I treated myself to a bottle of wine and a small bouquet of flowers.  The wine I shared with a friend that stopped by tonight. 

I finished unpacking all that I'm willing to unpack at this point.  I did three loads of laundry, cleaned out the flower beds, rescued a bunch (too many) worms from misery on my basement steps (super yuck!) and planted an herb garden and tomatoes.  I also had lunch and showed the house to my friend from work that retired last year.  It was so good to see him and talk with him for a couple of hours.  He really is a very special person, very caring.  It's always a joy to see him.  So how's that for anti-socially me? Two visits in one day!  Sometimes God can really work miracles, no?

I'm so happy to be in a house, not missing the apartment at all.  It's been storming the past two days and I can honestly say I have always loved thunderstorms.  I am so grateful to hear the rain hammer down on the roof and to hear the roll of thunder in the sky.  I have missed hearing the rain on the roof, we haven't had one for 7 years.  I will never tire of that sound.  Maybe I am weird, but sometimes it's the weird and awkward things that we appreciate in life. 
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10 Things I love about my new house:
1.  The rain on my roof top.
2.  My washer and dryer.
3.  The backyard.
4.  The kids from the block.
5.  The basement the kid isn't afraid to play in.
6.  Waking up to the birds singing.
7.  The bay window in the kitchen.
8.  Windows on all 4 sides of the house.
9.  The water pressure in the shower.
10.The fire pit.  Bonfires and smores!!!
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Easter was okay.  It's not like it's ever been a big holiday for me.  She spent the day at her father's.  Anyway, I hid her a basket before she went as well as some plastic eggs.  I put the largest pink plastic egg on her nightstand so that when she woke it would be the first thing she would see.  She came in my room singing, "Halle-YOU-la!  Halle-YOU-la!"  She still doesn't get that it's not pronounced that way.  Oh well, telling her is like talking to a brick wall, only funnier. 
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100/1001 Goals as of late...

11.  Pack my house to move.
12.  Move! Without breaking anything, anyone, myself or the bank.
15.  Update all bills with new address.
18.  Buy and hang a birdhouse.
58.  Plant an herb garden.
59.  Grow my own tomatoes.
63.  Call someone I haven't talked to in at least 6 months.
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Neither one of us has received any postcards from postcrossing since I've updated our address. Not really sure what is going on there...the kid has had 5 registered but only received one.  I hope that it will all equal out soon.  Keeping my fingers crossed that our mail starts arriving here soon (except for the bills of course :p)

Grateful

Today I am grateful for my friends who helped me through the move and took things to the basement that I'm still not supposed to carry, that the kid wanted to play outside right away tonight with her new friends, and that I have my own washer and dryer for doing laundry whenever I need to or want to.
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Eventually I will get my act together and blog again.

Grateful

Today I am grateful that all I have left to do is my bedroom, that it's going to storm tonight (I love thunderstorms) and I still have two more days off of work.

Grateful

Today I am grateful that I'm almost done unpacking, for the wonderful help I've had from a friend and that the kid had 5 kids from the block come ask her to play today!!!

Grateful

Today I am grateful that we are spending our first night in the new place, for having my own washer and dryer, and for a wonderful friend who looks out for me.

Grateful

Today I am grateful for my daughter, that tomorrow is the move day, and that I got my mountain of laundry done.