So I gave it another shot today - I went to church and afterward they had a picnic. Ho-hum....okay, well, I really don't know where to go from here.
Let's start with what I like. I like that it's not too far from home. I like the church itself. I like the pastor, I think his sermons are interesting, well thought out, informative and funny. I feel comfortable sitting in the church. I like that it's a small church, not overwhelming like one of the mega churches. I like that there is a choice of a 9am or a 10:30am service. I like that the kid enjoys herself there and the kids are nice to her. I like that she is interested in it and wants to go (none of that Catholic-forced church stuff happenin' here). I like that she is happy about what she did in "class" when I pick her up after service.
Here's what I don't like. People don't talk to me. I'm very uncomfortable hanging out there by myself while everyone else knows someone to talk to. For example, today, at the picnic, I sat with the kids. Big surprise there. The only person to come talk to me was the pastor to ask me how my foot was and how I broke it. A whole 3 minute conversation and then I was on my own again. No one came over to introduce themselves. A lady sat down at the table, opposite me, with a friend, said their names and then went on talking amongst themselves. I finally had enough of feeling stupid and got the kid and left.
Okay, so I know it's not entirely "everyone else's" fault because I should probably make an effort to talk to someone. But, um, well, just how do you interrupt a couple? "Oh hi, I'm socially awkward, but can you be my friend?" I'm not 8!!! Oh, how about this one, "Hi, I'm here by myself, can I be your third wheel?"
Anyway, I don't know what to do at this point. I have serious issues introducing myself to people and striking up a conversation. I'm painfully shy and I know I lack a lot of self-confidence. And maybe, I guess, my expectation was too high of what to expect at church or with "church" people. I thought they'd see a new person and come talk...hmph.
One more note. I signed my card for the second time today saying I would be interested in "serving." I can start by making a small effort. But will it go unnoticed/ignored again???
I'm torn. I like the church, but I don't like being the awkward one out. I want to be a part of something and fit in somewhere.
What to do? What to do??? And P.S. why am I such a reject????
Life is Valuable and Precious
14 years ago
3 comments:
Okay let me juat say this... YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT A REJECT AND NOT SOCIALLY INEPT. Okay there! I mean we met once and we've been(on-line?)friends ever since! I don't do the whole church thing so I can't really give you much advice there. Maybe serving will be a good way to meet people?I hope so but just remember what I said ;)
Oh chicky-you gotta stay possative!! You gotta figure out if good parts of your church outweight the negative. It sounds like it does. The meeting people takes time-at least it did for us. I honestly would say serve!! You will meet people within your group that you serve in-say like the others who greet, if you become a greeter. I honestly say if you dont get contacted in a timely matter - a week - send an email off to your pastor explaining your situation, that you really would like to serve in the church and how you can get the ball rolling on finding a place to serve. Keep your chin up! It will work out in the end!
I'm w/ ya Nat. I sure feel like socially inept all the time!
I'm not much for big churches either, but it seems like no matter where I go ppl are welcoming, but I still feel like an outsider...although I don't attend regularly anywhere (haven't found a church yet) so I haven't been to a picnic (or any other social gathering) to test the outsider theory.
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