Perspective

Well, I met dad's "fiance" this weekend.  It was, well, interesting to say the least.  I'm really not sure what to think.  My first impression is that she is nice but trying to push too hard.  Right away she asked the kid if she would like to be the flower girl.  (Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that they considered her, but she couldn't wait a couple of weeks?)  Then when we were leaving she gave the kid big hugs and kisses.  It kind of turned me off because I am protective like that.  I thought, "Back off bitch, you don't even know us well enough to do that yet."  Yes, I have my guard up.  In all honesty though, I want to like her.  There is just something that is not sitting right with me but I can't pinpoint it.  Maybe it's just that she's moving in too fast with me and my kid.  I don't like that.  We'll see how it goes.  The last time I saw her this weekend I asked her for her phone number.  I have to keep tabs some way, right?  She gave it to me...but I STILL can't find anything on the computer about her!  How is that possible?  Oh well.

Went out Sat. night with some friends.  Had soooo much fun and got to see an old friend too.  Yay!  We started off at a dueling piano bar that pretty much sucked.  I think after being down here and to the one we went to months ago, we were very spoiled.  We decided to leave that one and do a pub crawl back to the hotel.  Managed two bars and then stayed in the third one until the end of the night.  They had a pretty good band and DJ when the band was breaking.  There was a good mix of people there.  Dancing.  Drinking.  Talking.  It was all good.  And bonus, I got bought two drinks by two men.  I know, it's a real heart stopper.  But nothing came of that...most likely because they figured out I wasn't going to go home with them.  Then we met Hot Dog Aaron out on the street.  I'm telling you, drop dead gorgeous!  I was in love...with the hot dog vendor.  And I hate hot dogs.  LOL.  But he was sooo cute...but um, only 24.  So would that make me a cougar? 

Finally got back to the hotel and one of the girls went to bed and the other and I stayed up talking.  So in one sense, it was good reassurance that other people's families are just as, if not more, disfunctional than mine.  But in another sense, I worry about my two friends.  They are both married to husbands that are total jerks and it really bothers me.  I hate to see them hurting, but I can't change their situation.  Only they can, right?  Dad just says I should be there for them to vent, but it still hurts.  I love my friends dearly.  I don't know how we all ended up together (they are like the sisters I never had (considering the caliber of real ones I do have)), but it works. 

Going out back home makes me miss home so much.  I literally felt like I wanted to vomit driving home today...and no, I was not hungover.  I miss everything about home.  I was thinking today how stupid I was at 18 doing everything I possibly could to "get out of here" and only now almost 15 years later feeling sick with a need to move back and not being able to. 
One more week of work this week and then surgery.  I'm starting to get nervous all over again despite knowing what I'm in for.  Is that even normal?  (Although I was never claiming to be anything of the sort).