Eyes Wide Shut

BLOG N' BITCH...So I'm lying here wide awake and can see I'm going to face yet another sleepless night.  Okay, so maybe right now I'm pissed off and feeling sorry for myself and whatever other emotions are going on in my crazy brain right now. 

I just got frustrated.  I want to know why me?  I'm sure everyone has that question when faced with a challenge, but seriously why me?  My life wasn't supposed to turn out this way with what seems like surgery after surgery.  I don't smoke at all or drink heavily like both of my sisters, I'm not an alcoholic like my mother, I don't weigh 300 lbs. like my sister and lay around on the couch all day, but WHY am I the one facing all of the health issues?  (And by bringing them up, I am by NO means wishing any of this upon them...I'm just saying, out of all of us, I seem to live the "healthiest" lifestyle.)

How did I go from playing sports year round K-College to being who I am today?  Lupus, hypothyroid, Sjogrens, cancer, COME ON!  I'm pissed.  What the hell is next?

I know I should be grateful that I have it together for the most part, unlike my sisters and my mother.  I have a steady job, a wonderful daughter, a house, etc...but I want to be able to live a healthy life too.  I'm sick of being chopped up and needled and x-rayed, etc. 

Where the hell did I mess up?  Forgive me for sounding like a self-centered bitch, but I am pissed.